Carl’s Dailies

All right here’s another review of sorts. Something tells me I’ll have to be careful since Martin Scorsese’s new one involves quite a few spoilers. First the good points- which are very, very good for a movie made past 1999. It is a well directed movie. Scorsese is at the top of his game. He proves not only to be a consumate filmmaker but the consumate film student. Scorsese handily references Hitchcock, John Ford, Preminger, Spielberg and even himself with awesome results. From the opening shot we can sit back and feel secure that we are in the hands of a cinematic master (I tried “cinemaster” but couldn’t take the word seriously, anyway…). The script is tight. I still can’t get over how the most compelling and riveting scenes involve simple conversations between two people. The acting is top notch. It’s an ensemble deal for sure. DiCaprio, Ruffalo, Kingsley and- one of my all time favorites The Exorcist himself, yes- Max Von Sydow deliver believable characters caught in an unnerving scenario. Secondary players like Ted Levine, Elias Koteas and Jackie Earle Haley (what a run that guy’s having!) are flawless as well. It is a visually lush film. It is at once modern but reminiscent of films from a bygone era. The kind they don’t make anymore. Those are the good points of “Shutter Island”. As far as bad points go it’s more like one bad point. Personally I think Scorsese tips his hand a little too early. He does reign things back again, making us question if what’s going on is what’s going on, but once the proverbial cat’s out of the bag it’s hard to put back in. I was hoping that there would be one more twist at the very end but sadly there was none to be found. Nevertheless the movie was well worth the money. The mental maze Scorsese et. al. walk us through is intriguing, frightening and above all entertaining. And hey this is America, isn’t being entertained what it’s all about? Kirk out. I mean, uh, Carl out.

Ever since Barack Obama took office it is crystal clear that America has had enough of three things:

1) Unemployment
2) Big Government/Taxes
3) Socialism
4) Barack Hussein Obama

Okay that’s four things. But the fourth problem will be taken care of when Scott Brown and Sarah Palin run together in the Last Year of the Mayan Calendar. Here’s my solution to the first three. I have broken my uber solution into three parts.

PART I

GET YOUR SOCIALIST AGENDA OUT OF MY RED WHITE AND BLUE FACE!

Take police protection, fire protection and education out of our government’s incompetent hands. Put them in the assured hands of private corporations. This will stimulate and perpetuate America’s most cherished national treasure. That’s right: CAPITALISM. From now on there will be a fee (determined by supply and demand) for every time 911 is called and every time your child is given homework. Can you imagine how much capital there will be to be made? These private corporations would come out of the gate with literally trillion dollar annual incomes. Marx, Lenin, Stalin, Kruschev and Gorby will be twirling in their graves!

PART II

POW! TAKE THAT, TAXES! BAM! GOOD RIDDANCE, BIG GOVERNMENT!

With no service workers’ compensations, pensions and benifits to worry about taxes will virtually disappear. I say virtually because legislators can’t govern for the big bubble. Don’t worry they won’t be legislating much because rules and regulations equal something very bad: BIG GOVERNMENT. With this new private corporation deal in place, government will practically be nonexistent. Emergency response and education will be trusted to the executives. Go getters. People in suits who know what they’re doing. Heck corporations don’t make that much money not knowing what they’re doing, right?

PART III

SOMEBODY PICK UP THE PHONE, JOBS ARE CALLING!

Here’s the coup de grace. Police, fire protection and education will be expensive commodities now and there’s a very good chance people will have trouble paying for them. Especially if they’re victims of a robbery in which all their money was stolen, a house fire in which they lost everything or simply have a child requiring special education needs. That’s why I will be first to start my own E&E (emergency and education) insurance company. Customers will be required to pay roughly seven thousand dollars a year for basic insurance. This will cover all 911 calls in a victim’s “home city”, most housefires starting on the first floor in a nonsmoker’s house and school lunches for up to two (2) children. My company will be in need of customer service reps, sales reps and other people who have had extensive experience fielding complaints. My employees will make some money. Not too much, or I’ll have to outsource the jobs to somewhere overseas. Which is where me and my company will already be located. The US won’t be all that safe anymore anyway.

And this is why stuff like Big Government, Taxes and Socialism are bad. They prevent greedy corporations in other countries from making a lot of money.

Hey check it out I actually have something relevant to blog about. Make that two things.

The first topic is CBS’ SURVIVOR: HEROES VS. VILLAINS. I never quite got into SURVIVOR but my kids are addicted so I wind up watching it with them. I have to admit I get sucked in from time to time. But that’s not the point. The point is this. I always thought SURVIVOR was shot documentary style, run-and-gun, guerilla cam/boom mike, etc. I watched a recent “making of” and could not believe the size of the crew and the amount of production equipment. There are as many people working behind the scenes on this reality show as on a major motion picture! The real surprise is when I watch the show again I still think that it’s shot in an isolated location by a bare bones crew. That’s the magic of TV right there.

The second thing is this: I watched Jimmy Fallon the other night. I tuned in late and he was just introducing a cute little Olympics parody- a special event called finger ice skating. For the segment, three people (presumably from the audience but maybe part of Fallon’s staff idk) put tiny ice skates on their fingers and did “routines” on a little slab of ice. Cute. Fallon even gave out medals. It was funny. Until I realized Fallon’s network is also covering the 2010 Olympics. That left a sour taste in my mouth. Especially when they cut to a commercial for the upcoming 2010 Winter Olympics right here on NBC! When we got back from commercial Fallon was at his desk now and he introduced the Reverend Daryl Bivens, a very funny character (played by one of the show’s writers Bashir Salahuddin) who stands in the audience preaching Gospel style. Before we get through the first laugh Fallon says “Hey Reverend, Subway is offering five dollar footlong sandwiches.” Then the reverend goes into this church organ rant about five dollar footlongs from Subway. I kept waiting for this bit to progress but it never did. It just stayed on the topic of five dollar footlongs from Subway. Right up until they cut to another commercial break. And, sure enough, there was a Subway commercial about five dollar footlongs! Now I know what you’re saying “Carl just change the channel!” But I didn’t. And you know what? The rest of the show got better. Fallon’s first guest was talk show legend Dick Cavett and the interview went very well. Fallon knows how to act endearingly awkward, like “Shucks Mary can ya believe I’m on a talk show? Garsh!” and Cavett was simultaneously humble and polished and probably grateful to be on the old boob tube once again. After that was that Christian Ciriani from PROJECT RUNWAY. He was just okay. But what do you expect from a veteran of yet another reality TV show, which brings us full circle.

And just in time too I’m all out of steam. That’s it for now!

Just saw a movie called LEGION yesterday. It was a special experience for me because back in 1998 I read the script for LEGION when it was called KINGDOM COME. I was one of the script’s earliest readers since its writer Peter Schink is a good buddy of mine from my assistant editing days. I worked in many a cutting room under Heir Schink. He read the very first draft of DETROIT ROCK CITY and irony of ironies, wound up cutting it when it finally got made a few years later. How’s that for Kissmet, nyuck nyuck? Anyway it was great to see LEGION finally make its way into theaters more than ten years later. Even better was to see the script had been done justice. The story (yes there is one) is epic and Biblical and it makes you think. The questions and themes running throughout will keep your brain churning long after you leave the theater. That’s my definition of “more for your money.” As far as other elements go the effects are believable (as opposed to Roger Rabbit-ish a big problem these days), and, in the central role of the angel Michael Paul Bettany is nothing short of mesmerizing. LEGION opened at the number two spot right behind AVATAR (which as someone said is pretty much like opening at #1 these days). And all I can say in closing is congratulations Pete and when are we going to see LEGION 2?

Hey it happened. The Hangover won something! A Golden frickin’ Globe. That movie I think was literally the best film of the last five years never mind ‘09. I haven’t laughed so hard in a theater since, what… Airplane? Didn’t see Avatar yet but I am biased anyway because I think comedy is the hardest of the genres to pull of with horror being a close second. Speaking of comedy and horror the two sort of collide in the Showtime drama Dexter. And Michael C. Hall and John Lithgow both earned their GGs last season. Hall does a great job every year for that one. But in the WTF? dept we have Curb Your Enthusiasm being conspicuous in its absence (at least with me and I’m the one writing this blog). Last season of CYE was the best yet and the fact that it got completely ignored pisses me off. But hopefully the Emmys won’t snub Larry David, Cheryl Hines, Jeff, Susan, the Seinfeld cast et. al. Well that’s all I got for now. Peace.

In 1988 Steve Martin and Robin Williams made a Broadway version of “Waiting for Godot” directed by Mike Nichols. Can you believe this thing was never recorded? Not for DVD, TV broadcast or just for posterity’s sake?

Hey Gang

A writer friend of mine Paul Hart Wilden has published a short horror anthology called BROKEN BONES and it’s already getting good reviews. I’m instantly jealous but wanted to give him props. You go Paul!

Nuff sed.

Hello gang. I heard about this movie on the PARANORMAL ACTIVITY message board. It’s a Spanish horror film that inspired QUARANTINE (which I was cautioned against seeing and do not plan on seeing anytime soon).  The entire film is staged “footage” of a female reporter by her mostly anonymous cameraman. They are on a human interest story about a day (in this case, night) in the life of your neighborhood fire department. Things get exciting when the firemen respond to an emergency call about an old woman who won’t stop screaming at a nearby apartment building. Once they arrive the movie begins taking some horrific turns that I won’t spoil. I highly recommend this movie. It’s an example of the next generation of cinematic horror, along with PARANORMAL ACTIVITY and BLAIR WITCH. The creation of atmosphere with a camcorder and some really great actors. The story and editing are great too but once you see it you understand what’s wrong with modern horror movies. Nobody can act like they’re scared anymore. The actors in [REC] (especially the reporter, who reminds me of a young Marissa Tomei) know how to bring the terror. If you don’t mind subtitles this I urge you to find this movie however you can. Myself I went to a local used video store and got lucky but Netflix and Blockbuster Online should have it. Trust me it will be a phenomenal experience.

Hey gang just got back from seeing this- one of the most hyped movies in recent memory- and can’t go to sleep so I figured I’d write about it while it’s fresh in my head. For those of you who don’t know yet this film is the result of a Blair Witch-esque production and internet marketing strategy. Tapes found in the wake of unexplainable events in a San Diego couples’ home, blah, blah, blah. What we are watching are apparently those tapes- again a la “Blair Witch.” Now I hyped “Blair Witch” a lot because I found it genuinely scary. I put BWP up there with “Ringu” in terms of a truly seminal horror masterpiece (I understand there’s a Spanish film called [REC] which explores that kind of subtle horror too, which I have yet to see). Unfortunately, almost everyone I recommended BWP to just found it annoying (shaky camera, nothing happening, snot in the girl’s nose, etc. ad nauseum). Not that I’m recommending Paranormal Activity. All I am saying is this: there’s a TON of hype around this one. A TON. So the longer you wait the more you will expect. So let me just burst that bubble. This film was clearly made for no money. The filmmakers were forced to become creative in ways that a big budget can’t allow. It all takes place in a suburban house. That’s the ONLY LOCATION. A suburban house! There’s no hideous monster make-up no big morphing effects. Nothing gets blown up, nobody’s head gets eaten, no gallons of blood and gore. But things do happen in this movie. Oh yes. You just don’t see them happen. In other words you, the viewer, are forced to use your imagination. Now if you’re thinking “but that’s why I go to movies, so I don’t have to imagine something,  I can just watch it on the screen” then this is about the last movie you will ever want to see. In fact stop reading this and rent “Drag Me To Hell”. The rest of youse (as they say here in Rhode Island) what I’m going to do is not recommend this to you like I did with “Blair Witch”. I will just say this. About two thirds of the way through a girl sitting in the back of the theater was crying “That’s it I’m leaving I can’t see what happens next!” The whole audience chuckled nervously because she said it very loudly. Now here’s the kicker. She never did leave. She stayed to the end. If you can conjure up scary stuff in your own mind you might find this one entertaining that’s all I’ll say. I will even go a step further and say if you don’t see it in the theaters you should rent it. In fact the DVD might be the perfect medium for “Paranormal Activity.” Or not. You decide. But only if you want to…